Stories of Addiction/Recovery

I’m sharing this for my son. The fourth of my children. He was so happy, athletic, popular, everything you could ask for in a child. He was diagnosed with Epilepsy at the end of freshmen year in high school. He gave up playing football and started dabbling in marijuana. He continued to do pretty good in school and was accepted to a private college. He continued the marijuana and started to add hallucinogenic drugs. He made it one quarter and had a psychotic breakdown. It’s

Wow… where do I begin? The crazy part was, up until the first time I ever took a pain pill in 2003 (while in the Air Force after getting all four wisdom teeth out) the hardest drug I had ever tried was Tylenol or a can of Jolt Cola. I was stationed out in Fort Meade, Maryland 24 years young. Long story short, the oral surgeon wrote me antibiotics, Motrin 800mg aka the military special and a 60ct of a medication I had never heard

I was young, and met a girl, as the story always goes. We very quickly were married, in the summer of 2012, and almost immediately after the wedding I was told I’d be going to Afghanistan. We had about 5 months before I left. Looking back now, there signs I should have recognized. Mysterious pains and excuses to go to an emergency room, even during a holiday vacation. Prior to my deployment, we became pregnant. I was ecstatic at the thought of getting to be a dad.

Hello everyone and hello Josh. I’ve been wanting to share my story for some time now, but it’s always been hard for me tell. Seeing others tell their stories has given me the strength to finally share mine. Growing up in a small New Jersey town was hard. Not a lot to do and not a whole lot to see. After graduating high school in 2012, I started experimenting with multiple substances. I think in order it went, weed, cocaine, mdma, lsd and ketamine. By

I was in the middle of doing chemotherapy when my dad died unexpectedly. Several months after that I had to have a major surgery to remove organs with cancer because the chemo didn’t work completely. I was in constant pain. The physical pain and the emotional pain weighed heavily on me every day. I mistakenly got pain medications filled in two different states because I had the surgery in one state and was recovering in another. It made me feel better while I was taking

I’ve only ever shared this story with my inner circle of people. I wouldn’t say I had a bad childhood by any means. Plenty of people had it much worse than I did and am fortunate that, despite having a horrible relationship with one of my parents, I have a good one with the other. The parent I had issues with, physically abused me to the point where I could no longer hear out of my left ear properly. I was degraded time and time

 I am an 18 year old male who started a band a few months ago. My close friend, and drummer, has struggled with drugs his entire life. He is only 19 and has overdosed on fentanyl multiple times, including the other week. He had a really bad upbringing, neglected and abandoned , and he found himself in the wrong crowd, developing very bad habits. He’s lucky to be alive today and is in the hospital right now. He’s very talented and I care about him

First off Josh, love the band and the Mets! LFGM! Second, my grandfather dealt with addiction to both drugs and alcohol his entire life until about 20 years ago when he finally had enough and quit. Unfortunately, now he has a handful of medical problems that he deals with, mostly because of his problem in the past. How, if it all, can we get through to other people who have not seen the light and gotten away from their addictions yet? How do we convince

My story is a success story about my father who struggled with addiction his entire life. I was unaware, for my entire childhood, that he had a problem, yet the alcoholism was very apparent. I remember times seeing him crying on the couch, unable to get up because he would drink himself into depression, yelling to himself and anyone who would listen, “why doesn’t my mom love me” or “I’m just a total f**k up”. I remember feeling so sad for him, even as a child, not knowing how to respond or how to help.

Today, I received a call that I prayed would never come. My best friend of 22 years was found dead on Sunday. He was my best friend, my brother, my first crush and one of my truest soul mates. Even though we were never romantic, he was one man that would come before all else. About 11 years ago, his military job sent him to Arizona. While there, he was alone, without family support, and he fell into bad habits and ended up just disappearing…

I’m from a small town in a state most people don’t even think is real, and I just wanted to share my story with others because I can’t keep it to myself at this point. I’m not an addict myself, nor a recovering one, but I have many family members who’ve fallen into drugs and alcohol themselves. My mom is one I remember most clearly, due to how much she’s changed from it. I mean, my mom has always been crazy, no doubt, but when

I’m in a family full of people addicted to drugs or alcoholics, and I don’t know how to help them. My Aunt is constantly in and out of rehab, and my mom, while clean for now, always goes back to drugs and alcohol. Is there a point where I need to cut them off completely or do I stay beside them and watch them ruin their life? I remember when I was little my mom had the same problems. But I don’t know what I

First and foremost, have to say thank you. Creating a platform for addiction and recovery is AMAZING! I am currently new in my sobriety, but I was an opioid addict for 10 years. Growing up my childhood was normal. For the most part I had a good childhood. My mother was an alcoholic but by the time she had me and my sister, she had been in recovery for 10 years. I admired her for this, but addiction isn’t just limited to one thing. After

I just found out about Drum Set Confessional on Wednesday 9/6 at the Charlotte show, and the message hit me, hard. Just a few weeks ago, my husband, whom I had been separated from but had not yet divorced, overdosed on Fentanyl. He had reached out to me on a Friday, after not having heard from him for a while. Then on Monday I got the call from his roommate that he was in a coma. Because I was still his legal wife, all decisions

I’d like to begin by thanking you. This whole idea is phenomenal. I applaud you for being vulnerable, honest, and real. Your music as Weerd Science got me through so much shit. Thank you, Josh. My addiction story started when I was a young lad. My story is painful. My mom was very abusive towards me. She would sit on me (she was pushing 350 lbs plus, and I wasn’t even a preteen), break my shit, or pawn it off. She would mentally manipulate me

First, I want to thank you for sharing your story. I am new into my recovery… three weeks clean from all opioids. I wanted to know if you have any advice for those new to their recovery journey. I also want to add that “Pearl of the Stars” really spoke a lot to me, and I can’t wait to see you and the band in LA. Thank you. 🙂

My name is Sarah. I’m 21 years old and I’ve been clean from Fentanyl since 12/23/22. My childhood was very normal, and my home life was great. My dad is a cop, and my mom is a teacher. I thought addiction couldn’t happen to me, but outside circumstances put me into depression at age 11. I started using at age 17. At the height of my addiction, I was homeless, had no contact with anyone, and I weighed 84 pounds (without even knowing). I was

This year, I lost someone close to me who lost his battle with addiction. My old roommate introduced me to her then boyfriend, Nick. He was a goofy, bright presence with the most infectious laugh. When he smiled, everyone smiled. He was the type who made you feel like you’ve known him for years, even if you’re just meeting for the first time. Nick and I became really great friends, and he ended up getting me a job with the same cellular company he worked

John Prine described it pretty well when he wrote “Sam Stone” – “but the morphine eased the pain, and the grass grew round his brain, and gave him all the confidence he lacked. With a purple heart and a monkey on his back. There’s a hole in daddy’s arm where all the money goes…” I remember listening to my dad’s best friend sing that song round the campfire with such passion. I didn’t understand why it meant so much when I was a kid. But

My husband is over 10 years sober. We met as teenagers, and he became an alcoholic by age 16. When he stopped drinking, he said one of the hardest things was the isolation that came from his so-called “partner” and friends. I see it to this day. Friends say, “it’s just one drink” or “I’m sure you’d be able to control yourself now.” He’s always so polite when he declines the offers, and they just don’t know how hurtful that is, the energy it took,

How do you handle illness/injury/pain now? When you have surgery, break a leg, arthritis, respiratory infection, etc… do you just muster through? Trust yourself? Have an accountability buddy?

A Mother’s Story from ScottlandI was unsure whether to post this or not. I wasn’t sure if it was relevant and didn’t want it to come across as some kind of guilt trip to any users. But, then Josh said in the latest video “imagine your mom getting that call…” and I thought, yes, maybe people do need to hear about that side of the coin. I am a mother of one. My son began smoking weed at around age 13. I couldn’t really say anything

Josh,Do you have any insights for someone in a rural area who feels that resources and awareness are far too limited, but would like to help fight this in some way? I will be up front in admitting that so far opioid addiction has spared me and my immediate family, but many, many peers and family members of friends, etc… are suffering and I think of them all constantly. I feel so helpless with more people ODing or becoming addicted every day, and I feel

I work as a nurse at a local emergency department, and I am ashamed to say that up until about seven years ago, I stigmatized drug abusers. I was often very dismissive when they came in with problems, citing the usual “you did this to yourself.” Around 1997, my nephew became addicted to heroin and was even distributing it. Unfortunately, this was responsible for someone’s death. Fast forward six years and some time in a recovery program, he is now clean and a successful adult

Hey Josh, you’re my favorite drummer. I try to go beast now, when I play my new kit. I had an opioid addiction for years. It made me drop out of college so I could get my pick up in time. My “go to” was tramadol and it was hell getting off of it. In your latest video you talked about how you lost joy in things you love and that resonated with me.Thank you for this forum and giving people a space to talk

I had a good upbringing and found a healthy passion that defined me: music. I never had a gaping hole in my heart. I am generally an optimist.I did have a big brother with friends that loved partying. I did have an alcoholic grandpa. I did get introduced to opioids and I did immediately feel that they were my drug of choice. (I mean they’ve been around for millennia so we can only blame this recent epidemic to a degree, but it certainly didn’t help.)

Hey Josh. So glad I stumbled upon this!!!I hate to be “that person” that says I’m one of your OG fans, but I am, so why not say it? Saw you for the first time in 2002 in a little coffee shop, called the Equator, on Main St in Manchester, CT, and my life was forever changed. So being that Coheed is my favorite band, and you my favorite band mate—it’s only fitting that that we have super similar stories, and almost the same timeline.

My addictions started, I imagine, as everyone else’s. I used to be a general manager at a restaurant and at times was pulling 60-90 hour work weeks. I started taking Percocets because my lower back would hurt so bad that when I got home, I couldn’t lay flat. So of course, one of my “friends” offered me a “Perc 10” and from there it just spiraled. Eventually the Percocets and Oxys got too expensive, especially after I started snorting them. I was up to about

First off, your story is so inspiring. Overcoming addiction is one of the hardest things anyone can do. My question stems from my own situation. I have had multiple back surgeries, had my tailbone removed, have cysts on my spine… just a lot of shit. As you can imagine, I see tons of doctors and have had numerous procedures to help me function, be able to go to work, drive, and do everyday things. This also comes with pain medication. It all started with about

Hey man, I appreciate you doing this. It’s cool to open this up to us with similar experiences and questions. I was wondering if at a certain point in getting clean, something switched within you from the urge for wanting to do drugs towards the urge not to die. In other words, you realized the mortality of it, coupled with an addictive mindset, and faced the reality of either stopping or you’d die this way. I realize there is a duality, and these 2 things

How could I only be 17 and having withdrawals during high school civics class? How is this even possible?Sweat rolling down my head and face and hiding in a Hoodie, my teacher, knowing something wasn’t right, probably thought I was high… when the sad reality was, I wasn’t. My buddy’s dad was a cop and was helplessly hooked to his “cheese puff jar” size stash of oxycontin, hanging out in his closet like it nothing was to worry about. My friend would supply me these

I see it as a sign, a golden opportunity, or maybe even a higher energy, when a chance like this pops up literally the day after I was talking about this with my wife. I was a victim to opioid abuse for about two years. It was during a time when I was working so hard to better my future, relationships, and career, and in a moment of weakness I let what was to be just a “recreational thing” consume me every day. What was

I have almost started writing this so many times recently. Every time I haven’t gotten very far. One, I can’t shake the feeling that my story isn’t serious or important enough — I was never a hard drug user, I didn’t go to jail, I never almost died, etc. Two, I suspect that it’ll be hard to stay anonymous to at least a few people who happen to read to the end. If that’s the case, maybe it’s okay. I guess we’ll see. Music has

Fifteen months straight. A real accomplishment for me, and trust me… if you knew me, you’d be proud and a little shocked… but proud, nonetheless. Fifteen months since my last release from prison, that’s over a year since I’ve been arrested and sent away. I haven’t been home for this much time consecutively since I was 19. I turned 34 this year. I had a good childhood. I had hard working parents who are still together today, a sister and brother ten and nine years older

I was 16 years old when my older brother started using heroine. I remember watching the personality shift and the addiction turning him into somebody I didn’t know anymore. I witnessed the once trustworthy, overprotective, funny and intelligent teenager, turn into a person that would steal his littlest sister’s jewelry, and money from his parents in order to get high. I remember getting suckered into bringing him to a trap house. I was so naive. I watched him, from the age of 18-39, spend more

What do you think about selective sobriety? I feel like alcohol is an uncontrollable demon, but I love hallucinogens and they don’t take over my life.

Do you think the music scene and community adds to addiction? On the flip side of the coin, do you think the music scene and community can save people from addiction?

It started with a car crash. Quite literally. I was hit head on whilst driving alone on the way to work, which resulted in a number of surgeries, almost 2 months in hospital (including time in an induced coma), and having to relearn how to stand, walk, and even use the toilet. During this time the only thing that gave me any pain relief was two forms of medication: morphine and gabapentin. I had always been warned of the addictiveness of morphine, but it’s not

I had a surgery to repair a torn labrum in my shoulder. When being discharged, the nurse misread the doctor’s notes and filled out the prescription doses at double the quantity and frequency for the pain medication that I was supposed to take. I was informed that if I was going to run out by the weekend, to call and fill it before Friday. When I called to get it refilled, they informed me that dosage was in error and instructed me to immediately begin

Like any good addict, I wanted to be the first (and the best!) to share my recovery story with you. But as I sat down to write it, I realized that I didn’t know how to share my story with one of my idols. Of course, I had the feelings of “I’m not good enough.” “My story isn’t important.” But after attending a 12-step fellowship for years, I know that’s not true. My disease likes to tell me things that aren’t true all the time.

This is about how the people in my family using, has affected my life. I always knew that my sister and my brother were whacked out of their minds by the time I was 6 years old. My brother would knock on my window at any hour of the night because my mom had locked the door and he lost his keys. He would steal my lunch money out of my backpack, and I would get in trouble for losing it, not knowing where it

In high school I started messing around with pills when I was in 10th grade. Started out stealing tramadol from my father until he was eventually prescribed Percocet. I would steal those from him as well. By the end of 11th grade, I was totally hooked. A big issue for me was that I had been caught by my father several times and so I wasn’t able to keep stealing from him. Instead, I was stealing from everyone else to get money to buy more

My old Bass teacher (Let’s call him BP) was super cool and showed me a lot about music, outside of what I was exposed to from my dad. His band actually won a contest and got to open for Coheed and Cambria at a festival back in 2004, or something like that. Well, he ended up getting really into heroine, and other things, and was kicked out of the music school I was going to. I didn’t know why he was booted. One day he

Man, I’ll do my best to keep it straight forward. My mom is now in her early seventies. She’s been addicted to opioids for the last 14 years or so. It started out as a typical story, in that her arthritis bouts had been becoming more intense and she was prescribed hydrocodone then percs and eventually oxy. When her addiction first started, I would hang out with mom a lot. I was in grad school and I’d pick her up to go to lunch, etc. One day

I was six when my mom met my stepdad. Everything seemed great. He was kind, well off, owned his own business, and had a big family. He swept us off our feet. It only took about 2 years for reality to rear its ugly face. He had a problem… a couple of them honestly. I spent a lot of my childhood in bars. It was normal for me, never realizing that there weren’t ever any kids my age in the bars when I was there…

Where the fuck do I begin… I grew up in Southern Ohio ,and live in Michigan now. For 20 years I was an alcoholic and sometimes didn’t even realize it. I grew up pretty well… no real issues there. I think at some point I started to kind of want to escape. I remember at a young age, thinking when someone made fun of me or when I felt any emotion I didn’t want to feel, I would run from it. When I was 16

Addiction has always reared its ugly head in my life in one way or another. From family and friends, to myself, for many years. I was sick for years and the doctors only ever tried to increase my medication rather than help me taper off of it. After my best friend died of an overdose, I took myself off of everything, including fentanyl patches; and it almost killed me. Now, I find myself raising my other best friend’s child, who was placed with me through

I just got a call today from my mom, telling me my friend Rachel died a couple weeks ago. Rachel and I were best friends for the longest time. Our kids went to elementary school together. I contacted Rachel’s daughter to give my condolences and to ask what happened. Her daughter said she was homeless, still battling drug use, had become septic from the drug use, and it spread to her heart. She had walked out of the hospital against doctors’ orders to go find

I don’t mean for this question to be triggering for you at all. Since you’ve gotten clean, have there been moments that have tempted you toward a relapse? If so, how did you resist succumbing to it? I’ve been clean from opiates for several years now, but I still have those “heroin dreams” in which I’ve relapsed and don’t remember doing it. If you’ll allow me to paraphrase your lyrics, “sometimes I become aware that there’s a darkness greater than I am, and I fear

This is a story with hopes of inspiration for those struggling with an addict. I lost my best friend to opiate addiction 3 months ago. It was such a long time in the making, but because of his addiction, I made a very tough decision – to distance myself. I had a newborn daughter at the time and his first visit to see her was riddled with withdrawal (he had stopped to respect my wishes – he knew I hate to see him high). That day, watching

My story isn’t special or unique, but unfortunately, it’s all too common. So here it is. My father-the functional heroin addict. I don’t know what sent him in the quest to chase the dragon. I don’t know much about him at all. My mum, naive as she was then, had the mental fortitude to get us away from the situation when the violence started. She did everything she could to let him have a relationship with me. He just didn’t want me. Which he told me to

I was a heroin addict for almost 20 years. I told my parents when I was 19 I was addicted to heroin because I wanted to be clean so bad. I tried everything. Countless rehabs, detox’s, 302’s, jails and state prisons! I tried… GOD. I tried moving, EVERYTHING!!! Nothing worked. Until I was 33. Then I had my son (RB) and have been clean ever since. I’m 41 now and I am so happy to be clean and sober for me and my son. When

First let me say that I have been a diehard Coheed fan since I was introduced by my older brother when I was 11 years old (around 2006). I will try to broad stroke this as best as I can. In high school, I experimented with pot and alcohol like most kids that age. To be honest, I never really enjoyed smoking weed, as it gave me very bad anxiety, something that I always secretly struggled with. But that was what my friends were doing

I am very fortunate to not have ever struggled with addiction myself. I experimented with many drugs, being able to stop and start as I wanted. This ended up shaping my early views of addiction because I didn’t yet realize that everyone isn’t like that and isn’t able to use drugs casually. I (while slightly ashamed of this now) assumed that people who got addicted “wanted” to. They needed that crunch of addiction to sooth the other negative aspects in their life. The people I

I started using narcotics as a teenager struggling as a functioning addict until I was in my early 30’s. As much drugs as I have done, I have always held a job and managed to stay in the closet with my addiction. I’m 38 now I have been on Suboxone for 5 years now with zero relapse. I’m not sure if I’m in recovery or not, still taking this drug, I call a cure. It has helped me maintain a healthy and functional relationship with

I’m not even sure where to begin. Unbeknownst to me, I’ve been surrounded by various degrees of addiction my entire life. Personally, i am not an addict (was terrified to touch addictive substances but weed and mushrooms were fair game. I’m also epileptic and cannot drink. Which is an actual blessing). My mother is a high functioning alcoholic, and has been so for almost 20 years. Her drinking began after I became an adult. She was severely sexually abused by family members as a child,

I’m 29 years old and I’ve been struggling with alcohol since I was 16. I’ll spend a week, two weeks, three weeks sober, and they’ll feel like the best moments of my life, and then SOMETHING puts the itch in me to drink. Usually, it’s me rationalizing my desire to have a single drink, and then it’s two, and then three, and so on. I know that I need to just stop, forever, but it doesn’t feel very easy. My friends, my brothers, everyone I

I’m lost. I married a man who is an alcoholic. I’m struggling financially because I can’t find gainful employment. He’s sober and resentful and has led me to hiding food. I binge and sleep. I’m so exhausted and overwhelmed and feeling gross. How do I put myself back together?

One day my husband called me at work. His stomach hurt and the clinic sent him to the hospital. They did an ultrasound and decided to admit him. His liver was failing, and they pumped 7 liters of fluid from his stomach and chest cavity. That week, he went from 180 pounds to 130 pounds. You could see every bone in his body. Six weeks later he was gone. His last words were “I don’t need a fucking ambulance”. In those weeks, as he wasted

I grew up with a lot of abuse and trauma, also growing in poverty. My mom struggled with mental health, and she was very abusive in many different ways. I started pretty young in my addiction starting with weed and alcohol around age 12 and found pills around 13. I found myself in rehab against my wishes at age 14. I also was placed in foster care around this time. As my life progressed I delt with more trauma and abuse from my mom. I

For almost five years I binge drank almost every day. I was unhappy with life, myself, work… It all compounded until I started drinking here and there to take the edge off my intrusive thoughts. It started with just some nips, some box wine, a couple beers… nothing I couldn’t handle. Eventually, as my tolerance built itself up, it would take more to get to the feeling I wanted. The first time I blacked out was terrifying. One moment I was chatting with friends, playing

First of all, Josh, thank you for the music and the inspiration. I have been sober for 2.5 years and I feel like I don’t get the opportunity to share my story to anyone. So, thank you. I was a heavy partier in college. I had played football all my life, and my plan was to become a teacher and a football coach. College came around and I was on the football team there as well. I made THOUSANDS of mistakes due to drinking, just like most people. After

Both my uncles died of hepatitis C from sharing dirty needles. So, when I was 13 years old, my Uncle Randy looked at me and said, “don’t do the things I’ve done.” Sadly, he passed away a few weeks later. He had been approved for a kidney transplant to prolong his life. Now, at 36 years old, I’ve never touched a drug in my life. Every time I hear the song “Afterman” it hits different, because I always think of him.

Bringing awareness to addiction is so important and I can’t imagine what my life would be like if people like Josh didn’t speak up. I’ve always been told that addiction “runs in the family.” I’ve seen, first hand, what it can do, but wasn’t prepared for how easy it is to start. Through the pandemic I started following Josh’s personal page and also started suffering from chronic pain. Late last year it got so bad I was prescribed tramadol for when the pain was at

I’ve lost two cousins to opiate addiction right when fentanyl started hitting every batch of smack in Baltimore. My dad ultimately succumbed to cancer, but for decades, struggled with dependence on opiates which he was legally prescribed. While I’ve managed to steer clear of opiates, I’ve struggled to maintain my own boundaries around marijuana and amphetamines. This came to a head when I experienced a resurgence of my severe anxiety disorder, and I was not able to cope with daily life or fulfill my professional

So, I started drinking in high school at 16 because… duh. I definitely came to identify as the party girl and made it my entire personality. Over the next 20 years got three DUIs and spent several months cumulatively in county jail. I also lost my college scholarship, countless jobs, and 5 front teeth. I don’t remember when it happened, but at some point, there became no such thing as drinking without cocaine. I tried to get sober once and managed to go almost four

It’s a long story but one worth telling. I grew up very poor. My father and my mother were both addicts. Alcoholics and addicted to meth. They had a functioning meth addiction. My father worked but we moved around once a year. Never in one place for too long. I must have gone to 14 different schools growing up. We would live on my grandmother’s sporadically and her basement with my other cousins and other aunts and uncles. A lot of cats and dogs… a lot of

Question for Josh: How would you handle suspicion of a close family member who you feel needs help?

I had a boyfriend get me into drugs… cocaine crack and then whatever we could get. To be honest, I don’t remember a lot. There are a few things here and there that I am not proud of. Looking back, I’m lucky to be alive. As a woman walking into certain situations alone… I’m shocked to be alive. One thing that got me through was one night I had been smoking all night with my boyfriend, and it was 8am and I’m doing the “search”