Brother Destroys Sister

I was 16 years old when my older brother started using heroine. I remember watching the personality shift and the addiction turning him into somebody I didn’t know anymore. I witnessed the once trustworthy, overprotective, funny and intelligent teenager, turn into a person that would steal his littlest sister’s jewelry, and money from his parents in order to get high. I remember getting suckered into bringing him to a trap house. I was so naive. I watched him, from the age of 18-39, spend more time in prison than home. He even stole diapers from Walmart to buy drugs. He actually flat lined three times. It was a nightmare for my entire family.

Honestly, I can’t believe he’s actually still alive. I learned to hate drugs at a very young age. This is a lesson that most of my friends didn’t learn. As I got older, I got to watch the majority of my friends get addicted as well. It was turning into a nightmare from every point of my life and all I could do was pray that someday it would just stop.

The pain of watching someone you love go through this, is probably the worst pain I have ever felt… because you can’t save them. You don’t sleep, you become hypersensitive, you constantly wonder if they will be the next person you have to bury… and what happens when they are? I’ll tell you, you become numb, angry and hateful. You spend years blaming yourself. You have nightmares and you become very, very empty.

My brother was in prison, for one of his many stealing attempts, when my ex passed away from overdosing on heroin. Instead of giving condolences over the phone, his only response was, “I wonder where he got that shit from, that’s what I need.” That is the person that being an addict turns you into… being on the other side of that… well I now have a brother that I have no remorse or feelings left for… he spent 21 years trying to feel nothing and killed his sister in the process.