Today, I received a call that I prayed would never come. My best friend of 22 years was found dead on Sunday. He was my best friend, my brother, my first crush and one of my truest soul mates. Even though we were never romantic, he was one man that would come before all else.
About 11 years ago, his military job sent him to Arizona. While there, he was alone, without family support, and he fell into bad habits and ended up just disappearing… AWOL. His dad rescued him and brought him back to Texas and back to me. He stayed with me for a period, while he was processed for discharge from the military, before moving to Austin with other friends. There, friends weren’t what they seemed, and he fell on harder times and even harder substances. When I was able to get in touch with him, I reminded him that he was loved, and he had avenues to seek help. He would always say he was going to get clean, but he needed to do it his way and I never pushed because I didn’t want him hating me the way he said he hated his father (who is/has been supportive… always).
He missed my wedding because he was out of contact again. I’ve reached out to him over the years, and heard back from him a handful of times, which was heartbreaking but better than not knowing. I last spoke to him August 7th. Today, a man I’ve come to love like my own father, called me, broken. I hoped it was because he had been arrested or something… but “dad” told me that my dearest, wondrous friend is gone. I’m so lost, the hole in my heart is immense.
2 thoughts on “Addiction Steals Soul Mate & a Life”
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Losing someone to addiction can be isolating, not everyone can relate. There is an online resource, GRASP (Grief Recovery After a Substance Passing) that might be able to help, if you are in need of more community support that has a better understanding of what you’re going through. I hope you are well.
The burden of the loss of a loved one is difficult to measure and even more difficult to carry. I am so very sorry you have been asked to carry it. Thank you for sharing your story during this vulnerable time.