Lost Friend Leaves Behind Guilt

I just got a call today from my mom, telling me my friend Rachel died a couple weeks ago. Rachel and I were best friends for the longest time. Our kids went to elementary school together. I contacted Rachel’s daughter to give my condolences and to ask what happened. Her daughter said she was homeless, still battling drug use, had become septic from the drug use, and it spread to her heart. She had walked out of the hospital against doctors’ orders to go find her next fix. Her heart literally burst inside her chest, and she was found in an abandoned house. I hadn’t spoken to her in many years because of the drug use. I had tried to get her help time and time again. I feel so lost and shitty because, like everyone else, I gave up trying to help her.