Other Stories of Addiction/Recovery

Looking for Hope Amongst “heroin dreams”

I don’t mean for this question to be triggering for you at all. Since you’ve gotten clean, have there been moments that have tempted you toward a relapse? If so, how did you resist succumbing to it? I’ve been clean from opiates for several years now, but I still have those “heroin dreams” in which I’ve relapsed and don’t remember doing it. If you’ll allow me to paraphrase your lyrics, “sometimes I become aware that there’s a darkness greater than I am, and I fear the inevitability of my fate.” I feel that some of your lyrics speak to this. “Clean is just a mind frame. See, it’s the chemistry you can’t change…they’re gonna wake up one day and wanna rage.”

How do you maintain hope in the face of that fear? I just had a baby boy and I’m in a good place in my life, but I still fear that I’m playing hide and seek with my addiction and it’s only a matter of time before it finds me again. Do you ever have those thoughts, and how do you deal with them?

P.S. I honestly can’t thank you enough for opening yourself up in this way. I met you once years ago at a Weerd Science show in Chapel Hill, and you took the time to really help me through a difficult passage of my life. I rediscovered my passion for making music and I haven’t had a drink or done any opioids since we talked. Thank you, Josh. I mean that sincerely. Thank you for showing kindness to a stranger.

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