This is a story with hopes of inspiration for those struggling with an addict. I lost my best friend to opiate addiction 3 months ago. It was such a long time in the making, but because of his addiction, I made a very tough decision – to distance myself. I had a newborn daughter at the time and his first visit to see her was riddled with withdrawal (he had stopped to respect my wishes – he knew I hate to see him high). That day, watching him suffer on my couch, I decided I couldn’t have my daughter in such an environment. I continued my friendship from a distance. Mainly via text, social media, etc… over 5+ years. We still spoke every day and every day was a lie about his progress to recovery. He went to rehab three times, but relapsed every time as he progressively got worse.
About a month before his passing I saw him in person – it had been about 6 months since I had seen him last. He looked amazing! He had meat on his bones, had a girlfriend that was whipping him into shape, and had landed a stable job. The friendship was back on!! Until I received one of the most gut-wrenching calls of my life, he had OD’d overnight and the Narcan came too late.
This is a story that I hope inspires someone who’s ready to “give up” and changes their mind. I am filled with so much regret! I know I made a decision for my family that I am still fairly confident in, however, the heartbreak is immense! I wish I didn’t give up. I wish I tried harder. I wish… I wish… I wish!!! Don’t become like me and wish you did something different. If the story ends sadly, be the person that can walk away saying “I tried absolutely everything I could try” instead of regretting you didn’t.
Thanks for this platform, Josh. LGM!
1 thought on “Deciding Between Family and Friend”
Your story hits really close to home as someone who had a father that committed suicide while on meth…the influence the drugs had over my father led to him choosing to end his own life. I have so many regrets, so many things I wish I would have said or done differently.
But each day, I remind myself that it is not my choice to be made. It’s not my journey to take, it was my Dad’s. We can be there and supportive as much as we possibly can be. You made a choice for yourself and your own wellness, just like your friend had to make a choice in getting clean.
Try not to beat yourself up to much friend. There are many of us here with you in the struggles of how addiction impacts our lives. So we continue to spread the message, spread awareness and hope for a better tomorrow! Remember the good times. Your friends smile, their laugh. Keep that alive so we know what we are fighting for!